WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT

Allow me to say now, that if you are definitely against animated films because you consider them “just for kids” and beneath you, and you wish to remain staunchly opposed to any contrary viewpoints; then so be it.
To each his own, and all that.
Everybody is entitled to their own opinion.
And here comes mine...
If your mind is foolishly calibrated as such, regarding animated films, then I can only hope that in the near future a hobo lunges from the darkness and stabs you in an alley that has been marinated in urine and various juices of other unfortunates. Then later on when another 'lonely' transient discovers and eagerly examines your body, the only reason they will NOT violate your corpse sexually is because they will have found that you have explosively soiled yourself in your pre-death panic.
Charming.
If that series of events does not happen to befall you, then congrats. Lucky you. Cup the nearest leprechaun, or whatever.
One fact shall remain; you're still a moron and you're still missing out on many brilliant animated films.

One such brilliant film is Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Yes, it is a hybrid of live-action and animation, but I have still been unfortunate enough to hear savages grunt that they'd not watch it because it's “just a cartoon.”
Understandably, such savages would have stopped (slowly) reading my blog quite some time ago, but for those of you out there who are interested, behold the following compilation of reasons why this film is worth not only your time, but a place amongst your film collection.

- Doing animation at university taught me two valuable lessons:
1. No hot chicks study animation.
2. If I was an animator, I'd probably kill myself...or be stabbed by a hobo.
Animating is uber-annoying, yo. It's just not for me.
I hated 'doing' it...but I definitely respect it. And it is that respect, and understanding of the tedious nature of the craft, that allows me to heap praise upon this achievement.
An achievement which I am going to heavily credit to a man named Richard Williams. He was the animation director on this film and what he managed to do was flat-out genius, all during a time that was pre-fancy CGI trickery.
I cannot praise his work enough. The guy basically turned water into wine and then animated the wine and made it look freaking awesome. If Jesus was around, he'd say, “Fuck, this might be the wine talking, but that is some sweet animation, mang.”


(This is the only Jesus I believe in)

If Roger Rabbit doesn't make you put Richard Williams on your Xmas card list, then definitely check out his film, The Princess and the Cobbler http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112389/
Oh, and after that, watch Aladdin again. It'll open your eyes, ladies and gents.
We all see what you did, Disney. Bad form.

- The score alone is remarkable. Solid double-bass that bounces along and lends atmosphere and a strange blend of both playfulness and mystery. I wouldn't say that it is my favourite Alan Silvestri score, (PREDATOR wears that crown, yo) but it most definitely deserves recognition.

- Bob Hoskins' performance as Eddie Valiant. This was the first film in which I saw Hoskins and for years I thought he was American due to this flawless display and perfect accent. The guy is amazing. Sure, the animation alone is an absolutely mind-blowing achievement for its time, but Hoskins was one of the main reasons why it was so effective and convincing. Keep in mind that NONE of those animated 'co-stars' were actually there. Yes, there were place-holder maquettes so that eye-lines and blocking could be maintained, but a rubber dummy is not going to give you live feedback and reactions from which Hoskins could play off, and or, react to.
He basically mimed the entire film, people. That's impressive.
Constantly think about that when next you watch it. It feels like Roger is physically present alongside Eddie every step of the way. All thanks to Hoskins' work. He reels from impact, convincingly struggles and generally interacts with Roger as if he were absolutely tangible. He manages to convey a sense of weight and presence for a fictional rabbit sidekick that most actors these days (with the help of MILLIONS of dollars worth of CGI effects) never even come close to.
Every time I watch Eddie Valiant and Roger, I am reminded of how lazy most CGI-assisted performances are these days and how the story of an alcoholic private eye and a wacky, cuckold rabbit is infinitely more convincing with its classy 2D animation techniques than nearly every mega-budget CGI circus that rolls in and infects our towns every week.
I understand that, for its time, Roger Rabbit would have been considered a “mega-budget”, effects-heavy film, similar to those I have recently criticized. That being said; what separates this excellent film from the bulk of absolutely horrid, expensive cinematic abominations is the simple fact that despite having impressive effects work, Who Framed Roger Rabbit did not ignore that vital ingredient known as 'acting' or 'performance'.
Oh yeah, and after such an impressive piece of work, Bob Hoskins didn't even get nominated for an Oscar.
Weak, y'all.


(Bob Hoskins + 2 more reasons why this film is excellent)

- Jessica Rabbit is a marvelous cinematic creation. She is portrayed as a highly sexualized, adulterous, homicidal nympho who likes to play heavy-breathing 'patty cake' with balding men in bad suits and professes her innocence with the golden line, “I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.”
Outstanding.
Oh, she's also married to a rabbit and from that I can only hypothesize that she's either open-minded enough to be giving bestiality a big thumbs-up or she simply has rabbit-like stamina and enthusiasm in the bedroom.
Either way, folks, she's a classy gal and I've always been impressed by the fact that such a busty and risque character, that was almost dripping in mature themes was allowed to seductively bounce across the screen in...a Disney film.
I can only imagine what a Jessica Rabbit ride would be like at Disneyland. Long queues of men would fill those winding lines, yo.
Sigh.
It was nice back in the day when movies had some balls and every film didn't feel like the writer was wearing some politically-correct handcuffs.

- If somebody told you that they recommended a film which heavily featured weasels, you'd probably just increase the volume on your iPod and eagerly anticipate the arrival of the bus, thus providing you with some means of escape from this rodent-loving, station freak.
Fear not, though, when I now inform you that Who Framed Roger Rabbit stars a group of sleazy, animated, mercenary-deputy weasels who wear zoot suits, spats (Hell yes) and eagerly serve a master who relishes in the murder of cute cartoon creatures. One of these weasels is even garbed in a straight-jacket and carries a straight razor, as he and his cohorts slither throughout their scenes and cackle like coked-up hyenas in strip club. (NOTE TO SELF: Write film that includes coke-head hyenas in a titty bar. Nice)
Strangely, I have never found a cute Disney plush-toy of any of these psychotic weasels. Hmmm.
Merchandising oversights aside, these weasels are great characters. I've always been especially fond of the scene where the leader interrogates Eddie while he does his dirty laundry in the sink. The animated weasel manages to carry a real revolver and threatens Valiant by splashing the sink water just before he leaves...and it all looks like the weasel is actually in the apartment. Brilliant.

- Christopher Lloyd is one of those actors who is criminally underused in films these days. Just watch his performance here as Judge Doom and you'll see what I mean. Most people would say that his Doc Brown from Back to the Future is his best character...and I would be inclined to agree. However, Judge Doom is more than worthy of being mentioned in the same breath as that memorably wild-eyed, time travelling scientist. His cold, unflinching presence lends a sense of unease to every scene he creeps into and from the first moment he appears, you feel as if something is just not right with this gent who employs the aforementioned weasel police force and takes a quiet pleasure in every aspect of his daily job...which happens to include watching a cute, little animated shoe as he murders it on screen by dipping it into a vat of toxic chemicals specifically designed to kill toons.
That's right, kids, we get to witness as this harmless creature begs and pleads through puppy-like whimpers and desperate eyes as it is melted, painfully, into oblivion.
Thanks, Disney. Release a special edition that includes a gift voucher for child therapy sessions next, please.

Robert Zemeckis has also mentioned recently that he's thought about doing a sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Would I like to see this? Yes and no.
Yes, because I'd love to revisit this world and so forth...but also no, because it isn't really necessary and in this day and age, it would probably be drowned by CGI and the cinema police would never allow animated characters to be this mature and involved in such adult affairs.
Cause, cartoons are just for kids, right?

Ugh. I'm going for a walk. I hope a hobo stabs me.


"CARTOONS!"