Sunday, June 6, 2010

PREDATORS: Early Thoughts

Well, the glowing trail of green alien blood is leading us ever closer to PREDATORS http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1424381/ , so I feel that it's about time to cover myself in mud, set some booby traps and compile a meaty list of YAYs and NAYs regarding the newest installment of Predator versus prey.
Now, I am a HARDCORE fan of PREDATOR. I love it to death. I watched it yet again last night while eating cupcakes. (Hey, don't judge. I have life drama and it centred me. True story.)
The title of my blog should make that fact obvious enough. The first film is just pure, solid gold viewing and the sequel is a more than worthy follow-up. Drastic changes were made; yes, but the flavour was still there and it can confidently stand on its own.
The less said about anything after that, the better. I hate the AvP films, and I hope that PREDATORS is nothing like those abominations.

Stick around...

GOOD:
http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/predators/international-trailer
Solid trailer. I'm loving the multiple tri-targets on Brody. Shivers, y'all.

- Rodriguez. Ahhhh, Robert Rodriguez. Love the man and he's one of my heroes. I have been gagging for a new Predator for film for YEARS and many moons ago; when I heard that Rodriguez had kicked around a Predator script that was set in olden times on a Spanish galleon and so forth, I nearly cried with happiness. But that's actually the ONLY thing I liked about the script. (I wanted it to be ALL in that setting.) So now we get this film which feels similar to that original script...and while that makes me apprehensive, I'm trying to stay positive because at least Rodriguez is still involved and I have faith.
I just hope that there are not many things from the original screenplay. Cause there was some BAD stuff in there, yo. Seriously cheesy crap, such as hover-bikes and a puerile tone, in general.
Let us all pray that time and rewrites have washed them away and even though he's not writing, he's still producing and will have fingers within the pie, so to speak.
That pie better be baked DAMN well.

- Topher Grace is in this. Hell yes. Some may knock the guy, but I believe that this is VERY inspired casting and writing. A nice and pleasant-looking young doctor amongst an elite group of perfect warriors/killers? This has awesome potential. Especially if you do some hunting online about his character. I'm not going to spoil anything but I cannot wait. Plus, that recently revealed “I can be invisible too.” line, pretty much got me giggling with excitement.

- I'm really looking forward to the team dynamic that these characters are going to have. Teamwork was portrayed SO well in PREDATOR amongst an efficient group of soldiers and it's going to be a nice change of pace to flip that vibe and show use a group of individuals who, while they have a few things in common; have SOOO many differences. Bring on the conflict.

- Apparently the Yakuza character has a sword fight against a Predator. Yeah. I could really just have listed this multiple times in the GOOD column. Awesome.

- Adrien Brody versus some Predators. Yes please. I love Brody.
However, some mooks have been bitching about his physique. C'mon, he looks about the same build, probably bigger, than Ramirez and Hawkins in PREDATOR and if that was good enough to be on Dutch's team, then shut your hole.

- I'm loving that the studio is moving this stand-alone franchise forward instead of deciding to cripple such an amazing property with more half-assed, cash-in AvP flicks.
Hopefully, if this does well and they realize that people just want GOOD Predator viewing, I'll finally get the chance to write and sell one of my dream projects; a PREDATOR prequel about Jim Hopper's doomed mission. :D
Sound awesome? Yeah, it would be, yo.
That film in my head keeps me awake nights, people.

- Sniper chick. Yes please. This could get very tasty. Should be a fresh situation too, because I cannot recall ever seeing how a Predator fares against a sniper.
Although I have always thought it strange that Dutch's crew didn't include a long-range man. Granted - they're a rescue team, not assassins - but still, that kind of distance-coverage would be useful, no?

- This film plays The Trejo Card. (Don't credit me for that term. I heard it online years ago and I love it so I'm trying to spread the goodness)
Case closed.
I even would've accepted this film if they called it TREJO vs PREDATOR. But, I guess that would be unfair.
For the Predators.
The Predators would be all, “Click-click-clickity-click” (Translation: “That Mexican is scary.”), then you'd just have a brutal 90 minute action sequence where Trejo butchers the Predators to the brink of extinction.
Using ONLY HIS MOUSTACHE.
Seriously though, y'all; this and MACHETE http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/machete/cinco-de-mayo-trailer in the same year? It's a good time to be a Danny Trejo enthusiast.

BAD:
- What the hell is with Fat Morpheus? I'm a Lawrence Fishburne fan, but holy shit. What, has he been hunting Predators and then EATING them?
He just looks unhealthy, yo.
Download a jogging program, man.

- No Alan Silvestri. Unacceptable. This is a pretty big thorn in my side, y'all. Silvestri's PREDATOR score is one of my all time favourites.

- “Fear Is Reborn”? What's that nonsense? Crap tagline and lazy poster. Pick up your game, people.

- Mega uber-long wristblades. Sigh. Okay, maybe they're in there so that you can have the sword fight scene, but they still look goofy and awkward. No sale.

- Predator hounds. I'll say it again, Predator...hounds. Surely I'm not the only one who thinks that sounds cheesy and tacked-on. Yes, I understand that many hunters use hunting dogs...but these are freakin' Predators. It takes away some of their potency and threat level if you show that they choose to use these 'assistants'.
I've always been built like this, though. As a writer, I've always felt that some characters just work best with a shroud of mystery. One of the reasons Predators are so badass is because the 2 films hardly tell us anything about them. Keep it that way. I don't want to meet their puppies, their wife or find out what kind of car they drive. They're awesome alien hunters who work like lone wolves or in a pack. That's all I wanna know.

- Nimrod Antal as director? Hmmmm, I don't know. Maybe some damn fool accused him of being the best.
If so, then I look forward to seeing him prove himself. Once again, this is resting all upon my faith within Rodriguez. Nimrod must have been given the wheel for some reason, so I'll hold my tongue. Problem is, I haven't seen any evidence of that 'reason' in his previous work.

- No Predators have looked as cool as the ones in the first and second. I'm not sure what they're doing wrong in the design stages, but the first 2 looked amazing...and every time I've seen them after that, it has looked like they have giant bobble-heads and they should be sitting on your dashboard. Hrmm.

- No Arnie cameo, as far as I know.
Boo and hiss. He made time for THE EXPENDABLES http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/the-expendables/trailer-b , so where's the love for Dutch, huh?
Should've promised him more cigars.
Or maybe another lighter.
If it was me; I would've just cooked up a story and dropped him into the set like a meat grinder.
Carl Weathers would've given his right arm for a cameo.
After all, he has 3 of them.
Zing.

- Humans again? Okay. But JUST humans again? Stretching it a bit aren't we? I refuse to believe that, in the ENTIRE GALAXY, humans are the best prey. Surely there's some other aliens out there who are just as worthy, if not better, prey. Perhaps they'll address this, perhaps not.
I just know that this was (kind of) touched upon in the original Rodriguez script and I'd definitely give it some attention if I ever worked on the franchise.
Because, fair enough; I can buy that humans may be a very formidable opponent, but there's gotta be some other badass alien out there who could also whip some ass and give the Predators some solid challenge.
Let's get a taste of that, yeah?

Danny Trejo Pictures, Images and Photos

Perhaps they could discover a planet inhabited entirely by Danny Trejos?
See, that's just amazing even in theory.
I knew Rodriguez should've made PLANET TREJO instead of PLANET TERROR.

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