I HATE MORBIUS

Praise the gods.
A producer has confirmed that Morbius The Living Vampire will NOT be the villain in Spider-Man 4.
This pleases me greatly.
I could not hate Morbius more even if I underwent a genetic experiment that drastically increased the power of my hate gland.


(Jazz hands? Throw in a sparkly Twilight vamp and you've got a Vegas-worthy stage show)

The guy is just rubbish.
He prances about with his kiddie Halloween costume-style bat wings and displays an unnecessary amount of chest. Oh, he also does nothing but bitch and moan about being a vampire. Yeah, that's refreshing.
The only way I would accept Morbius' presence in Spider-man 4, is if he appears in the first scene, goes to say something to Spidey...but then Wesley Snipes – not Blade – Wesley fucking Snipes, shows up and stabs Morbius to death with a wooden stake until his arm cramps up.
All before the opening credits.
Spider-Man would then tell Snipes that he was badass in Demolition Man and the entire audience would nod in approval.


“I really WAS badass in Demolition Man. Thank you, Parker.”

Then they just have to include an awesome Rhino bank-robbery scene where he's scoring cash for Dr. Connors/The Lizard so that he can continue his research, and we've got the foundation for some solid viewing, folks.


(Just imagine this guy tearing up the New York streets. It'd be awesome)


(Just imagine this guy tearing up the New York...er, swamps? Okay, but you get the idea)

Oh, and they REALLY need to introduce Felicia Hardy/Black Cat soon.
She's an amazing character that needs to take the place of Dunst's stale Mary Jane who, unfortunately, is returning.


(Somebody please phone Scarlett Johansson)