FISH BASKET

Now, I'm not against multiplayer gaming, as such. I enjoy a small glass of it here and there with dinner, but generally, I prefer to game solo.
I like the escapism.
It allows me to forget about the mundane, cement-like reality in which I'm stuck, where I'm not married to a pornstar nor do I fight goblins regularly with a band of trusted comrades in enchanted woodlands.

(Not my wife)

That is not to say that I whimper and cower like a moist Mogwai when a friend passes me a controller and wishes to enter the game arena hand-in-hand. Most certainly not.
In fact, I happen to have such an amigo with whom I often battle alongside, or against, depending on the scenario.
(For the sake of security and fan-mail risk, let's say my friend is...uh, Ash from Evil Dead. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083907/ Cause he's awesome.)

“Say chum, I've got a swell new game! Shall we play?”

Well, one evening, Ash informed me that a recent game he'd played had a really fun multiplayer mode.
I started to snore.
He pressed the matter and said that, “No really. It's pretty damn fun.” or something to that effect. I cannot be sure as I had begun screaming at this point.
When I paused for breath, Ash tried again and managed to utter a sentence that was so intriguing in its absurd content that I was forced to halt my planned seizure and allow him to proceed.
The sentence went a little something like this:

“C'mon, it's a plastic figure kung-fu game and you can throw fish into a basket.”

It was like hearing a magic spell. My mind was gripped by those words and the fish-throwing enthusiast inside me told me, nay, COMMANDED me to play the game that was on offer.
The game was Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic for the PS3.

(Punch ANYONE who interferes with your 'fish + basket' agenda)

I'm not going to get into a full-blown, dressed up review with all the trimmings and its hair done. That's not happening here, folks. I'm just here to do what I feel is proper as a writer and as a responsible member of society.
I mean, imagine if a situation came along where you had the opportunity to fling floppy, unconscious fish at a basket while some loose-jointed, leaping martial-arts nutcase bounced around with flailing menace and tried to smash you in the face with sticks, nunchaku and energy blasts all in an effort to steal your hard-earned green salmon...AND I DIDN'T inform you.
You would be a hearty bowl of pissed off, you would.
So that's why I had to share this experience with y'all. Fish-throwing needs to reach a wider audience.

And boy was it fun.

Within seconds, Ash and I were both cackling with laughter and cursing each other's bloodlines as we bounced around, kicking each other, swinging from poles, throwing fireballs, smashing pots and carrying out various other styles of buoyant mayhem.
All in the name of preventing one another from throwing a floppy, bouncing fish into a basket.

Hey, perhaps that's the magic ingredient that multiplayer games require in order to attract me.
If Modern Warfare 2 allows me to lob tuna instead of grenades, then hello Game Of The Year.