STAR TREK

Before I step off into the empty void of space and proceed to float about; shooting word-bullets at various targets including treks, beaming, horrible accents and saucy dames with green-skin (Oh yes), allow me to inform y'all that I am not a Trekkie or anything of that nature.
I basically don't know squat about the franchise.
Star Wars has always been my sci-fi cocktail of choice, and leaning upon the reliable sturdiness of that property's particular bar, I will drink more than my fill and spout off trivia and lore until a fight is triggered with the nearest Mon Calamari that looks at me sideways. (I think I could take a Mon Cal in a fight. Those eyes look vulnerable.)

(You are ALL thinking about poking his eye)

But I've gone off course.
I just wish to make it clear that while I have never been a FAN of Star Trek, so to speak; I have always respected it. I could always sense there was some meaty substance in there, but it was always being served up in the wrong way. The films just weren't using the right recipe.
It has always seemed like a car that has an awesome engine that could potentially blow other vehicles off the road...yet it was long overdue for a service by a competent mechanic and it's hideous paint job prevented the owner of said vehicle from gaining access to any tits, let alone juicy ass, in the backseat. All the owner could do was cradle his head in his hands as he sat atop the bonnet of this husk of a machine parked on Franchise Hill and stare out through moist eyes at the city lights below...as other couples proceeded to fumble, grope and probe each other with moderate to considerable success in the rear-end comfort of their respective “cars” that were, in comparison, finely-tuned machines worthy of, being raced and in-turn, witnessing being raced.

Luckily, the owner of the Star Trek “vehicle”, eventually pulled into the right garage for repairs.
The mechanic's name? Why, JJ Abrams, of course.
And I am pleased to say that the car races damn well now, in my opinion.

Enough car metaphors. This is a space picture. Let's get down to the facts that matter; heroes, villains and green-skinned nymphs.

- Chris Pine was awesome as James T. Kirk. He didn't “do a Shatner”, which was refreshing to see and he was just an all-round likeable character, in my opinion. Once again; due to my lack of classic Trek knowledge, I can't judge if he nailed the 'feel' of the original character, but from what I've heard from solid fans; he did a damn fine job. At the end of the day; did I buy that he was a cocky, yet gifted rookie captain and would I follow his further adventures? Hell yes. Sign me up.
- Bones was incredible. And quite a surprise, I might add. Karl Urban comes along with his 'Behold; for I'm so manly I eat large hunks of uncooked meat and many women know of my conquests of both bedroom AND battlefield nature.'-style and manages to slip comfortably into the twitchy, paranoid skin of Bones. I was very impressed. I'm a big Urban fan, but all I'd really seen was his 'action mode'. This new reveal was a delight.
- Solid script, says I. It wasn't garnished with an abundance of quotables, (that isn't necessarily a negative) but I did like Capt. Pike's “12 minutes...” line. The Trek moved along at a smooth rate and it visited a nice varied mixture of settings such as ice planets and the very welcome Academy-based scenes. I also never found myself saying, “Damn, I want more time with (insert character)”, which can often be the case with ensemble casts. The action was a big step in the right direction while wearing the correct boots, too. Especially when held in comparison to the past films' (the ones I've seen, at least) penchant for space-combat that is about as exciting as a Star Trek screensaver. Running on a slow computer. With a poor monitor. I really enjoyed the whole drill platform sequence. They managed to cram quite a variety of action elements into a tight locale, and I felt a convincing sense of peril.
- Green chicks are amazing. More of them in later films, please.

(My next girlfriend needs to have green skin or else)

- Nero was a solid villain and he did the job. It was interesting to see that he wasn't some cackling nutcase from Villains R Us, who cavorts about the lair with his assorted minions in tow like he's in a musical. An EVIL musical, but a musical nonetheless. Thumbs up, Nero.
- Zachary Quinto made a great Spock, and I've thought as much since I saw the first picture of him. I'm just looking forward to later films where he'll (hopefully) get the chance to emote a bit more, cause Quinto has some impressive skills but he doesn't really get to flash his credentials much during this adventure. Kudos to Nimoy as well, for bringing nothing but class, once again, to the role that made him a household name. It could've been gimicky, but 'classic' Spock felt like seeing an old friend.
- The Vulcan planet looked great. The stalactite buildings were an exceptional design and I would've liked to see more of such architecture.
- Pegg was fine, but I gotta say that the whole 'Scottie Comic Relief' schtick will get very annoying, very fast. Maybe it's just me, but I only really enjoy Pegg when he's teamed up with Frost and Wright. It seems like his point of that talent triangle isn't as sharp when isolated in other people's flicks. I'm still a huge Pegg fan, though.
- Winona Ryder? Huh? Nonsense.
- Beaming looked a bit weak to me. I wanted little blue lights, but no harm done.
- Chekov should NEVER speak again. Seriously.

So as I mentioned to begin with; I'm not a Trekkie and this reboot has not converted me into one. However, after this first adventure with JJ at the helm and this battle-proven crew on-board; I am not only willing to go on further treks, but I look forward to such expeditions.

Just make sure that Chekov gets his throat torn out by an alien at the start of the sequel.
Or have him dubbed over by Rade Serbedzija.
Awesome.